London fog bothers many, but it doesn’t bother me; it’s just a dreamer like me, and I’m just a little hazy like the fog. 

Enveloped by fog, I danced with the trees. I let my dress slide off my body as it caught on a branch.  I felt my body’s thirst quenched by the dew; gently, softly, transparently, its delicate spray flirted with me.
I love it. I love rain and all its moods; its tender dew, its warm droplets, its temper when it pours, the way it makes the skies thunder. I journeyed across its waters, naked in body and spirit, seeking harmony with the music of my being.
At that moment I understood why we were naked in paradise.

Nothing compares to touching someone’s skin and feeling their soul; and when we were expelled from paradise, our greatest punishment was having to wear clothes.

Click to read this in Arabic.

The Candle

I am a candle, flaming, blazing with passion, with fervor, with delight.

Your senses lured by my scent.

My light hovers restlessly,

Giving birth to a myriad of dancing shadows on the walls of your soul.

The melting wax slips off my smoldering shoulders;

No one hears my soft dress fall.

My wistful, whimsical whispers yearning in silence,

So soundless,

So slight,

For one who can understand my soothing music or any of its notes serene.

How to resist the urge to slay the flickering spirit

As rays of daylight seep through tiny cracks of your consciousness …

How to sit still,

Quietly watching the ballet,

Desiring neither to possess the dancer nor the dance?

Which of you has the courage to savor the burning of touch? 

Do I glow too faintly or is it too fast that I burn?

Perhaps it is true!

Perhaps, perhaps both I do,

But what else would my existence be, were it not to endure and shine so incessantly?

Read this in Arabic

I have not yet resigned myself to the fact that I may indeed amount to nothing at all in the end, and that everything I have done so far has been but a useless attempt at gaining something which I cannot even pinpoint or name.

That I have spent my life acting, pretending, trying to live more than one life.

And, in the end, it shall all be all in vain.

A Response to Fadwa’s voyeristic experiment: I Wanna know … what’s in your bag?

 

Here is my big juicy bag from Poppies. It’s a french inspired market bag. It’s huge and I bought it for exactly that reason. Also because I’m a librarian and an artist I must carry books, journals and a big wad of coloured pens around with me. I also have a bag within a bag to carry all my toiletries, wallet and other small bits and pieces.

 

Ok, so this is what’s on the floor - the contents of my bloody big bag - from left, in an anti-clockwise direction:

1) A screwed up NZ post receipt ( I sold something on Trade Me the other day so need to keep this receipt for a track and trace jobby).
2)My Book Club Journal
3) My art journal
4) My friends poetry ready for publishing (now awaiting me to do the illustrations…I’m getting there!)
5) Underneath my mate’s poetry, a Cloth Shop and Quilter’s newsletter and my Book Reviewers Kit from CMIS - I do young adult book reviews for these guys.
6) One of numerous art pens…but interestingly, the only art pen in my handbag at the moment??
7) A folded up note from my library advisor friend Jan that reads: www.teacher’s treasures.co.nz - because I saw some really colourful stick up lettering on her office wall that I really must get for my office!!!
My Nokia (all time favourite) cellphone!
9) My Drawing and Painting reference book
10) My power bill - only $120 this month (WOW!)
11) A random, blank piece of paper
12) My goddess talisman, handmade by my gorgeous mate Storm in the

US.
13) My Skinfood, SPF 15 moisturiser for protecting my face from the harsh NZ sun. We all end up looking like wrinkled prunes before we’re 50 in this country if we don’t use it.
14) My digital alarm clock (I always forget it’s in there and then it goes off at the most inopportune times - like at a really important staff meeting with 120 people sitting around me)
15) My green, floral bag within a bag!
16) A child resuscitation check card - my 10 month old is into EVERYTHING at the moment and I’m paranoid he might choke on something!!
17) My asthma inhaler when my hayfever gets out of control…
18) Make-up compact
19) Smints
20) Lipstick case from Xmas ‘06 (thanks mummy! I love it, it’s gorgeous!)
21) A pink clothes peg (?)
22) My wallet with a massive long Woolworth’s receipt hanging out of it.
23) A NZ post rate checker pamphlet
24) My vitamin B12 vial for the shot I’m going to get on Thursday (ouch!) - but pernicious anaemia sucks even worse!
25) A zip file case protecting a teeny memory stick for my camera
26) My keys and my compact hairbrush are in the middle

PUZZLE: Find the random items (a bit like Where’s Wally or Osama Bin Ladin?): my eye drops, my driving glasses case, and a roll of sellotape! 

The End

I’m feeling disappointed - only one woman, excluding me, had the courage to say what was in her bag. And I was planning to publish a big fat book about the things women stuff into their handbags. I thought it would be fun and interesting to compare: do women from different cultures have similar things in their bags? What do younger and older women have in common in their bags? Is there no female bonding in the bag?

Another failed experiment? Come on ladies, tell me .. what’s in your handbag right now?